Friday, January 15, 2010

So NOW is the time thought it would be instructive to analyze Mark McGwire's
coming-of-age statement that said, to the shock of a nation, he in
fact used steroids throughout significant parts of his baseball
career. Let's look at portions of the statement McGwire released on
January 11th, which can be found at:;_ylt=ApgdzfwgubUXtvCGSqhH74I5nYcB?slug=ys-mcgwirestatement011110&prov=yhoo&type=lgns

Here is the first gem from Big Mac:

>>>> Now that I have become the hitting coach for the St. Louis
Cardinals, I have the chance to do something that I wish I was able
to do five years ago.

Yeah, this sure isn't something you could have done in front of
Congress in 2005. Or when responding to Jose Canseco's book. Or any
of the other 1,761 days since your congressional testimony where you
didn't want to talk about the past.

That is how McGwire began his statement. I'm not kidding. As if
January 11th, 2009, was finally the day -- the only day -- that
McGwire could manage to summon the truth.

>>> I wish I had never touched steroids

Funny thing, but so do we.

>>> Looking back, I wish I had never played during the steroid era.

Interesting. I always thought that McGwire had MADE IT the steroid
era. We should probably stop reading McGwire's statement now,
because it can't get any more ludicrous. McGwire actually wants us
to believe that he was somehow a VICTIM of an "era," rather than
being responsible for it.

He was the one who made it the steroid era. But why take blame, when
you can sound like the victim? Kind of like Jay Leno.

>>> During the mid-'90s, I went on the DL seven times and missed
228 games over five years.

Wake me when he gets to the part that has to do with cheating the fans.

>>> I had good years when I took steroids and I had bad years
when I took steroids

Hold on while I stop laughing.

Okay. I'm done. What McGwire is saying is that he
probably did not benefit
from the steroids. Which just further shows that McGwire doesn't get
it. He's kind of like the card counter who says "Sometimes I lost
money counting cards, sometimes I won," as if he never really gained
an advantage by cheating.

>>> The commissioner and the players' association implemented
testing and they cracked down

Yeah, and they would have done so years earlier, if you'd owned up to
what you had done.

>>> After all this time, I want to come clean. I was not in a
position to do that five years ago in my congressional testimony,

Yes? And....? Please, go on. There is something missing from this
little gem which your lawyers laid out for you. Like finding out
just WHY you couldn't do this 5 years ago. Oh, right, right,
right... you told Bob Costas that your lawyers made you do it. That
your lawyers convinced you not to talk about the past. That your
lawyers were the meanies that dragged this out for 5 years. That
your lawyers kept you from being straight with everyone. So you must
have really been hurting all these years, just wanting to bust out
with the truth, but all the time, held back by those draconian old lawyers.

Again, McGwire refuses to take responsibility. But he probably did
not write any of this statement, so he can blame the lawyers for that, too.

Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig has just one, and only one, option
now. He should suspend McGwire right now, ban him from baseball
indefinitely, and try to figure out what to do later. No other
punishment can possibly be warranted. To not suspend him would be to
condone the use of steroids, but worse, condone his failure to tell
the truth to congress, the game of baseball, its players, his
manager, and oh yeah, the Commissioner.

- 30 -

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